Angelic Demon

Just because I can.

DEALING WITH DEMONS:

Thumping music with bass deep enough to rattle bones.  Bodies gyrating, a cacophony of voices.  I took a long look at the décor, a small twisted smile on my lips.  Red, orange, candles on every table.  Inferno was certainly living up to its name, but that wasn’t a great surprise.  Most supernatural owned establishments had themes. It was either supposed to be a take on Hell, or the owner just really liked red.  Guess which one my bet was on. 

(Not too bad, I guess.  It could use a bit of work.  Though really, the décor really isn’t that engaging.  It’s what’s going to happen next that will suck the reader in. Anyway.  For a first draft, it’s not horrible.)

ANGELIC DEMON:

The dome of the night sky stretched above me, the moon a bright spot in the solid black.  I stared up at it, smiling as I walked.  It was a pity the city lights made it impossible to see any stars, but the brilliance of the moon almost made up for lack of star light.  My breath hung on the air, creating little puffs of fog that temporairily blurred the moon’s edges.  It’d been two months since I’d been afraid of going out after night fall.  Two months since I’d been hunted by a vampire and his demon master.  Two months of being able to enjoy the soft touch of night without fear of being ambushed walking home. 

(Nice intro, I think.  Covers some of the important bits in DEALING WITH DEMONS, just as a refresher course.  It just doesn’t strike me as the best opening paragraph, though.)

SHIFTED: 

The chair was hard and uncomfortable.  The music was that horrible monotonous drone that people referred to as rap.  Staring at the pre-selected outfit consisting almost entirely of pink, I seriously considered using it to hang myself from one of the dressing room stalls.  In the chair beside me was a man wearing much the same expression I was, only the outfit decorating his girlfriend’s door was a hideously bright bit of teal. 

(The best of the four books, in my opinion.  Could still use work, but hey, it’s a first draft.  They’re never perfect.)

HIGH COURTS OF HELL:

The dress was lovely on me, and my hair was pulled up in a pile on top of my head with a small cascade of curls down my back.  My make-up was lightly but masterfully done so that it enhanced the color of my eyes and brought out the high bones in my cheeks, all without looking like I was actually wearing any.  I wore only the diamond necklace Liam, my previous boyfriend, had given me, and two bracelets, both on the same wrist.  Melanie had approved of one, and frowned over the other until I told her flat out that if she wasn’t going to let me wear it, then I wasn’t going to go.  Which was stupid and childish, but it’d done the trick.  I got to keep the bracelet. 

(Again, starting with description isn’t the best thing in the world.  Though after I finish revising all the other books, I’m not even sure this chapter will exist anymore.  Meh.  Worry about that bridge when I come to it.  

…Oh, and Liam doesn’t exist anymore.  I think I’ve mentioned that in some blog post or other before.)