It’s be a looooooong while since I’ve done a blog. At least here. I’ve done a couple over at DeviantArt. Mostly because I started a new project while waiting for my beta readers, and since I have no intention of trying to get it published, I have no issues sticking it up for the masses to read.
I should probably stick up a donation thing. I need to eat too, you know.
Despite how it’s appeared, I’m not really dead. I’ve even managed to get work done on DEALING WITH DEMONS. Not a ton, mind you, because my beta readers are fail. They only ever send me stuff when I poke them with sharp objects. And it’s almost to the point where I need to go stabbing again.
Mostly, I’ve been busy being manic depressive (I hate spring. I hate summer. I wish I could stay in a cave and not come out again until fall.) having fun in the wonderful World of Warcraft, reading Jim Butcher, and facing the idiocy of bureaucracy that is University. I’ve been writing at my new story a bit, FAERIE BAD LUCK, and I’ve been slowly chipping away at revising Jacky. I’m on chapter six now.
See. Not dead. So on to the next topic.
When to Ignore a Beta Reader
I love my beta readers. They’re a good group. Really. They’re very helpful. The problem is, one has made assumptions, and glossed over details, and its affected the last two chapters she’s sent me. The problem is, her advice is still good, even if I don’t agree with most of it.
Which leaves me wondering. Should I rewrite this chapter, which after talking to her I’d planned to do, or do I ignore her well intentioned advice and leave it? My other beta readers didn’t have the same issues. They point out a couple of inconsistencies and things that confused them. That’s cool. That’s what beta readers are for.
But confusing a non-vampire for a vampire, thinking the two are the same (when they are sooooooo totally NOT) saying one of my descriptions was purple prose when it wasn’t. Purple prose, in my book, is needlessly wordy description, often involving comparisons of persons to flowers, and renaming a person’s special bits so that it makes it less “dirty.” You know what I mean. ”Her creamy mounds.” ”His quivering member.” (Do they really quiver? I mean, do they really?) ”Her icy blue orbs.” That, my friends, is purple prose. You can just say “her white breasts.” ”His warm cock.” ”Her cold blue eyes.”
When I say “His voice was deep and quiet and it blended perfectly with the shadows, was echoed by them, and reverberated from the darkness until it seemed it hadn’t been him that’d spoken at all, but the very night itself.” that is exactly what I mean. I don’t mean “His voice was deep and soft.” I mean his voice was LITERALLY echoed by the shadows.
Though, I admit, that last bit, “until it seemed it hadn’t been him that’d spoken at all, but the very night itself,” might be a little over the top.
But hey. Jacky’s supposed to be scared of her mind. Fear can make the littlest noise into a hulking monster. Why not go a bit over the top?
So I disagree with my beta reader. I don’t think it’s purple prose. Just over the top. And the only thing Bane and Revenant have in common is their hair is dark. Bane’s is dark brown, and held back in a short tail. Revenant’s is black and hangs in a mess of snarls to mid-back. Bane dresses casually. Rev does the whole punk-ass-gothic-biker-badass look. Bane is HUMAN. Rev is a vampire.
Maybe I didn’t describe them well enough?
Kay. Rant about my boys is over.
I come back to my question, though. Should I ignore her, because the last two chapters clearly baffled her (I’m half convinced she didn’t actually read them through, just skimmed, but she says she read it, and I trust her). Should I follow the advice I agree with? But if I did that, then what would be the point of having beta readers, right?
And the biggy. Should I rewrite this chapter? Or maybe just the beginning of it? One of the problems my beta reader had was that there are three encounter, three new characters introduced, in the span of three chapters, at the same location. But it fits. It makes sense to me. It seems to make sense to my other two beta readers. Or, at least, they haven’t said anything about it not fitting, about it being silly and unplausible.
Honestly, though? I just can’t think of another order in which the characters are introduced. Demon waits for Jacky at home. Hurts her by his mere presence, leaves. New neighbor comes to introduce himself (maybe I should make it late the next after noon? I never mention time until the third chapter, but really, why would her neighbor be dropping by to say hi at o’thirty-in-the-god-forsaken-witching-hour?) She goes to bed (here’s where it’d be rewritten to having a dream) wakes up, is scared shitless and threatend by vampire. After the demon had warned her to get wards installed, and to take self-defense lessons. I was shooting for irony, with that one.
Either I missed the mark completely, or my BR just didn’t get it. Hard to tell which it is.
And back to the dilemma!
I was pleased how this chapter came out when I first wrote it. I’m still pleased with it. There are some points that need clarifying, and a bit more description, but do I really need to go and scrap it?
No. I think not. A simple change of timeline would help things make more sense, I do believe.
So there. I worked out my problem on my own. I can act on all the advice given me, without throwing away all that stuff that I think works. It’s a win-win situation.
And if she still doesn’t like it, then pooh on her. She’s never been huge into the whole vampire culture anyway. =P
